Coin Operated and We Don't Make Change?

Legally Rambling (9/30/2009) I sat in my office today jaming to the Jonas Brothers and preparing for my next consultation. Ok, so I'm their oldest fan and I have already been instructed by my associate to turn down the sub woofer in my office. No one said the practice of law had to be conducted in quiet desperation! And, I do love the mystery before a new consultation. Meeting new people is really exciting.

So are all lawyers coin operated? Lets face it people - lawyers and legal battles are expensive. They take massive amounts of money and time. You see, law is a business now - a very big slow business.

Most lawyers can quickly determine whether the client has the ability to fund the fight. However, it just kills me when you run across folks who really need help, have a very complex legal problem and have no means to fund the resolution of the problem. Often, they can't even find someone to give them guidance or just talk to them. I find this over and over. The orphan file - no one wants to take it.

Now every year I take a few orphan files not knowing what to expect. Some we get paid on others we do not. A few I have really been burned on. However, I have also saved businesses, property and peoples futures over the last eleven years. Real - To Kill A Mockingbird stuff. Yes, even lawyers begin to take these matters personally after a while, I am no different.

My brother and I have often opined why we take some files and don't take others. It's a real easy calculus. Generally, we like the case or we do not. Moral - be nice to your lawyer. While I understand that life is unfair, I really don't like to see someone getting the wrong end of the stick. So am I an underdog guy? - well yes. It fits with my Plaintiff background. Lawyers are the great market equalizers and I have fought like hell on many occasions to put a client's life back into equalization.

I quess the bottom line is that I am coin operated (well I have to be to run a business) and unlike some lawyers, I guess I do make change. Ramble On .................

Music Defines Us

Legally Rambling (9/29/2009). It had been one of those days. However, I stood watching the finish of my seven year son’s soccer game, they had just suffered their first loss - a team that had won every game since the kids started playing together (years ago!). The winning was over and I thought - wow.

While I was trying to gather my thoughts, my wife approached me and casually announced that she was moving out, another wow crossed my mind, and then my cell phone rang. It was my brother telling me to get to the hospital now. I don’t remember how fast I made it to the hospital, I don’t even remember the journey there, or thinking about anything else, I just remember praying the entire way.

I parked in the same lot that I had parked in for the last thirty days, placed the ticket in my glove box (where it remains today) and walked the same walk into Presbyterian Hospital – Dallas. This time it was not the same – in fact, it was entirely different. I entered the room, the last to arrive, it was packed. The room was full of nurses and they all gave me a not-so-welcoming glance in a way that announced it was not good. My father glanced at me and then my brother took me out into the hall to explain the situation. Despite the month in ICU and movement to the floor days before, it was not good, my mother was dying. It was just a matter of minutes. We gathered around my mother, prayed over her and waited. We waited for her to begin the great Christian adventure. Then, she was gone. Although I knew I was in God’s great hands at that moment, the grief was immense.

After my mother passed, my father looked up and said, what are we going to do now? An interesting question, because with tears running down my cheeks, in one of the most emotional moments of my life I thought as a probate lawyer I should know the answer to that question. I had no idea. I prayed. In many ways I still can’t answer that question. Sure, I know the ends and outs of probate: the Courts, the administration, the tax issues, but the question hit on a much deeper level for me.

In a deep state of grief, my father, brother and I began to plan the funeral. Now if you have ever planned a funeral you realize there is a lot to do – lots of choices. I volunteered to give the eulogy. Which if you have ever given one before, is not an easy task, but you get through it. I guess it’s difficult because the number one fear of people is public speaking. I have always enjoyed a good eulogy and I have to admit that I like giving them.

I also volunteered to prepare the music for the service. You see my mom’s one request, well the one request that I could remember at the time, was for “Rock and Roll.” She didn’t want “Funeral Music” as she stated. Now my mom loved music – all kinds of music and she listened to music all the time.

Music is an interesting thing – it defines us in incalculable ways and it defines moments in life and at times who we are. I can remember listening to Jeremy Camp - Live Unplugged, the entire time my mom was in ICU. It really hit me.

Sure when you get right down to it - in a legal since, its just an artist’s work protected by copy right law with some royalty issues thrown in for good measure. But it’s much more. Having played the violin as a kid and trumpet for five years I could read sheet music, but it’s still more than notes on a page. It connects us.

So with everything else swirling around in my head, I set out to burn the intro and exit for my mom’s funeral, with no legal directive, no moral will, no instructions, nothing, well except for the statement that “I just want Rock and Roll” and the hours and hours over the course of a lifetime of listen to music with my mom. You see my mom had MS and for her music was a great escape. So, after hours and hours of down loading music I realized that I had of course, down loaded hours, and hours, and hours of music. I was amazed about how much good music my mother had introduced me to - whether buying CDs for me, trading CDs with her, or frankly often with her purchasing concert tickets for me. Picking the music and burning that CD is one of the hardest things I have ever done in life. From Buddy Holly to Elvis, to James Taylor, to U2, it was all there.

When I arrived at Sparkman the next morning, tired, emotionally worn down and not sure if I was ready to give the eulogy, the only thing I could think about was the music. I was assisted by the Sparkman staff (truly wonderful people) and the music was met with their smiles - it was going to be a different type of service. They commented that the last time they witnessed something like this was for an Earth Wind and Fire funeral. Made me laugh, then they obliged my one request - we cranked it up and we stood and we listened. In the solitude that exists before any funeral, before any people arrived, with just me, my mom, and the Sparkman staff, and with tears running down my face – again, I listened. It was one of those lifetime moments. Just can’t really describe it. My mom had her music – “Rock and Roll!”

Ramble on …….

Chicken Fever

Legally Rambling (9/28/2009). When I was a kid, I had a lot of pets: rabbits, dogs, cats, turtles, snakes, ducks, fish, crabs and even sea monkeys. I still have a lot of pets - my house is a virtual zoo. I like to think my love of animals and gardening stems from my Jeffersonian roots. So when my boys started arguing for a rabbit a few days ago, I thought perhaps I could stall them by talking hutch design. So they set off to design the perfect hutch and I thought perhaps I could stall until Easter. Then my father took my son to North Haven Gardens in Dallas to look at a chicken coop which he probably thought could inspire some new design for a rabbit hutch. What was he thinking!

Now why would a garden store have a chicken coop? Good question. However, what you may not know is that urban chicken farming is all the rage in Dallas, particularly Old East Dallas. Legally, the decision of North Haven Gardens to sell chickens this past summer sent Dallas city officials looking for answers. The decision actually presents a very interesting zoning question if you care to research it. So can you sell chickens in Dallas? In August, the answer came back - Yes! An interesting legal issue because the explosive growth of urban chicken farming has outpaced the ability of most cities to enact regulations and deal with enforcement issues.

The next question that people ask is whether it is legal to actually have chickens in Dallas. The answer again is Yes!, it's legal to have hens in Dallas; however, roosters are banned because they are used for cockfighting and are noisy. Some love the trend arguing it's just an extension of organic gardening. Others hate it citing concerns for noise, odor and sanitation.

Now, the hens cost about $15 - $40 depending on the breed and can live for about ten years. Not bad if they can lay an egg a day - I doubt this claim. I haven't read alot about fried chicken when reviewing materials for this post - so who knows?

So will my neighbors see a rabbit hutch or chicken coop in my back yard. Perhaps both ... Ramble on!

Smoke Jumping

Legally Rambling (9/27/2009). Frequently, friends, school kids, people that I meet on the street, or at church and even clients inquire about what it’s like to be a lawyer. This statement is often followed in quick succession by another statement “maybe I should go to law school.” Should I study law? So should you go? This past week Peter Kalis, Chairman of K&L Gates advised would be law students to reconsider. Is Kalis right?

Smoke jumping was established in the United States in 1939. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the practice, a smoke jumper is defined as “a wild land firefighter that parachutes into a remote area to combat wildfires.” Now when these brave men and women parachute into the hot spot along with firefighting tools, food, and water they are self-sufficient for the first forty-eight hours. Really dangerous stuff, they are essentially left with their wits and equipment to get a handle on the fire. Is practicing law as crazy as jumping out of a turbine engine DC-3 or Twin Otter to fight a fire?

The similarities are endless. The task begins with an alarm or in my case the buzz of an iphone. And, depending on the type of law you practice it doesn’t matter on the time of day or night. Instantly as a lawyer you are interjected into a situation that in most cases has been raging for days, months or even years in the life of your client. Now, the law has everything to do with people and a little to do with book smarts. A judge I know recently commented that a good lawyer has to be part marketing expert, part actor. Often, a lawyer is faced with people in very unfamiliar life territory - spiritually, emotionally and financially. Pure emotion - sometimes we are faced with terrible, often unthinkable situations. Your job, quite seriously, put out the fire – legally end it, in the quickest possible time. The problem is that as an institution, the law moves very slow compared with modern society. Sometimes the fires rage for years.

Law like smoke jumping requires a high degree of mental alertness and emotional stability. If you have a “helping” type personality, it can become addictive. It also requires a high degree of dedication involving long hours both in front of clients and behind the scenes. The reward is at times amazing, at times incredibly frustrating and at times down right disappointing. Yes, even lawyers believe in right and wrong.

Like smoke jumping, the practice of law is dangerous. You have to watch out and not get injured in the process. It’s a hard profession. Currently, the State Bar of Texas estimates that anywhere from 10,000 to 15,000 lawyers in Texas suffer from substance use disorders or mental health issues affecting their law practices. Not to mention the toll it can take on family and personal relationships. Even good lawyers burn out. You really have to love it.

In short, the practice of law is exciting and interesting work. However, if the reason you want to study law is about money, changing your position in life, making you feel better about you, or if you just want to hang out at the Country Club all day - don’t do it. As Thomas Jefferson once stated in a letter dated June 11, 1790 to John Garland Jefferson, “I would have you determine beforehand to make yourself a thorough lawyer, & not be contented with a mere smattering.” Don’t become a mere smattering!

I can honestly say that I have never advised anyone to become a smoke jumper, but I have advised many people to take up the study of law. There are lots of lawyers, but there are still not enough good lawyers. As Norman MaClean states in A River Runs Through It, “My father was very sure about certain matters pertaining to the universe. To him, all good things – trout as well as eternal salvation-come by grace and grace comes by art and art does not come easy.” I have had the pleasure in my eleven years of practice of being in the presence of some gifted, truly gifted lawyers and I can state that art does not come easy. But art in the practice of law is beautiful and often extremely fun to watch. I am still practicing … and look forward to watching more gifted and good lawyers. Ramble on!

Don’t Trash My Pad

Legally Rambling (9/24/2009). So what’s up with lawyers and their legal pads? As many of you know, my identical twin brother also happens to be my law partner. This question occurred to me the other day while visiting McMansion de Wright (otherwise known as my brother’s house). As my brother and I sat discussing some arcane legal topic (which we always do), in between us on the table sat a pristine Mead Cambridge (known by its common name – a legal pad). He looked at the pad, I looked at the pad, and we both looked at each other. I thought at the time, a moment reminiscent of the classic 1952 Gary Cooper movie High Noon. And, at the height of that moment, with silence hanging in the air, my brother uttered the phrase “don’t even think about it.” And, just like Joe (the Bartender, of course) in that same move, I thought, “It takes a pretty smart man to know when to back away.” I backed away. You don’t mess with a lawyer and his legal pad. We are so protective of our legal pads.

So why are we so protective? Is it that we are all like Linus van Pelt? Do we sport our yellow legal pads during the work day instead of a blanket? Is the pad protecting us like some sort of paper shield? I mean you have to have one for a meeting, right? Just try walking into a meeting without one. Your partner, associate, or client will stare you down. You know, you just know, what they are thinking - “Hey buddy aren’t you going to take any notes?” “I deserve notes!” “I deserve a pad, I’m important.” Try telling them I don’t take notes - I have a photographic memory. Right! It’s just not the same. How many delayed meetings start with the phrase “I have to get my pad.”

God forbid that someone in your office should lose one. It’s a show stopper pure and simple. Think of the billable time lost looking for these things. I mean if you really want to mess up your partner’s day, just misplace his legal pad. If you are a legal assistant just forget to send one to court with your lawyer, just once! The vary act of failing to send a pad with your lawyer to court is guaranteed to put said lawyer in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

Furthermore, if one is lost, just try to replace it. In most offices you can never find a new one in the supply room. Sure you can find these half used pads, mangled pads, or ones that have three sheets of paper left in them. Who puts these pads back anyway? Obviously, the guy who takes the new ones, because it makes him feel better just knowing that a pad is available for the rest of us. Or just try asking another lawyer for one, it’s like asking for directions to the Lost City of the Incas. Your request will be met with a blank stare.

And, think of the efforts that lawyers go to distinguish their legal pad from a coworker’s pad. It is the legal equivalent of Pimp My Ride. You tear off the cover; mangle the metal ring, color all over it. Your pad has to look unique so that you can distinguish it when you park it on the big table next to all the other pads. You have to protect your pad. Some lawyers are even attached to their pads when they cease to be useful, creating a virtual legal pad necropolis in their office with stacks and stacks of used pads. Why can’t we part with these things?

In short, I have no answers for this issue, only questions, but I have my pad. So, don’t trash my pad, don’t touch it, in fact, don’t even think about it. It’s my pad! Ramble on!

Where Have All The Jokes Gone?

Legally Rambling (9/23/2009)

Ok, so I'm an over fortyish lawyer/accountant type with expansive interests who longs for the simple days of my youth. A youth filled with fun and laughter. Laughter whose origination often stemed from simple and often stupid jokes told by my grandfather, great uncles and other men of their generation. Knock Knock, Lawyer and Other Jokes, material that would instantly bring a smile to your face and warmth to your heart.

So where have all the jokes gone? In an era where almost every joke is available on the internet no one is telling them. Well at least not in adult company. Why? In an era of the iphone and applications have we really forgotten how to tell a simple joke? Are we really too busy to enjoy them? Or as a society have we evolved so much that we can't appreciate them? I think not.

Over the last few weeks I have interjected Knock Knock jokes, Guy walks into a bar with ..... jokes, and Lawyer jokes into polite and professional conversations, e-mails, Facebook and frankly any where I can get them in. The kids love them. Tell me more, tell me more, I hear the kids say with glee. I almost feel bad when I run out of jokes. The adults, first smile, then resist and then say tell me the joke. You can really tell alot about a person in how they respond to a joke. Its all there. The good and the bad. Its a great test for future dates. We are all so serious today. But, hey, you get the smile. Its OK to tell and enjoy a joke. So go make people happy and tell a joke.

Knock, Knock