Legally Rambling (February 9, 2012). It was freezing and wind raced across the pitch as the girls played in the tidal zone of what was a very close soccer game. An amazing game, filled with all the emotion of a Super Bowl, or play-off game, ... the thrill of a score, the agony of a missed shot or step. And, then it was over. My daughter (step-daughter really, but I don't recognize that term in my house - we are one family), had the first shot, the last shot and tended goal with the best of them - shot after shot after shot. I was proud, full of excitement and just really amazed! She is a killer soccer player. It's one of those moments in life when your kids teach you something. You know the rare moment when the whirl of life stops for a split second and you can see clearly. Magic. My kids are all Magic.
So I really started wondering why I had questioned this game for so long. Why I had left the field so young to play American Football. As a kid, I admit that I really didn't like soccer. I thought it was "gay." Perhaps because of the way Soccer was coached in 1970s Texas, or perhaps it was 1970s Texas. Lets face it Soccer wasn't that popular.
So, I mentioned this fact to my brother and he stated "oh yeah, you have to read Soccer: A Spectator's Guide by Ron Rhody and Chris Rhody." A great book about a dad dealing with the same situation.
So, then the opportunity presented itself ... I was asked to help coach my six year old's soccer team. One practice down! And, I realized that my son is exactly where my daughter was when I met her.
So as I watch videos now, read blogs about soccer, read books on my kindle about soccer and try to learn a game I dismissed as a kid (also about my daughter's age), it really presents a great and happy hope for me.
The hope that at any age, if we can honestly stop for a second and look at a situation differently, we can change. We can change perceptions, attitudes, thoughts and even learn from them. In a small way, we can become young again and view something through young eyes. A great lesson for some lawyers who have been doing the same thing for far too long.
Thanks Emma, one day you will read this and perhaps forget the game (like so many others) that generated the seed, but my hope is you can recognize the tree that was born from it.
Ramble On!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
The Art of Reset
Legally Rambling (January 30, 2012). Back in the Blogosphere. Oh, what I have learned in the time away. The practice of law is still as awesome as ever. But, my wife taught me an old, but important lesson this weekend. The Art of Reset.
Now most of us type Aers don't think a break is a necessary item. However, some studies have revealed that at seven weeks we lose it - the blade starts to go dull.
This weekend my wife decided we would take a night off - no friends, family, kids, animals, no dealing with exs or their incidentals - just the two of us at the Ritz-Carlton Dallas (my compliments to all who work there). What an amazing experience!
And, then you realize it's the break!
We get so caught up in the "daily drama" that we forget our inner voice, we don't realize how magical the person we fell in love with truly is, we don't realize the importance of doing what we are doing because, quite frankly we are just "doing it". Don't just do it! If you are, then you seriously need a break!
It's also a huge lesson for young lawyers - boundaries (more to come on this topic through-out the year)!
Don't let the man, the practice, clients, your firm, or your boss grind you down! It's Ok to take a break.
One of my legal assistants and my associate attorney did today and I survived!!
Ramble On!
Now most of us type Aers don't think a break is a necessary item. However, some studies have revealed that at seven weeks we lose it - the blade starts to go dull.
This weekend my wife decided we would take a night off - no friends, family, kids, animals, no dealing with exs or their incidentals - just the two of us at the Ritz-Carlton Dallas (my compliments to all who work there). What an amazing experience!
And, then you realize it's the break!
We get so caught up in the "daily drama" that we forget our inner voice, we don't realize how magical the person we fell in love with truly is, we don't realize the importance of doing what we are doing because, quite frankly we are just "doing it". Don't just do it! If you are, then you seriously need a break!
It's also a huge lesson for young lawyers - boundaries (more to come on this topic through-out the year)!
Don't let the man, the practice, clients, your firm, or your boss grind you down! It's Ok to take a break.
One of my legal assistants and my associate attorney did today and I survived!!
Ramble On!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
250 Miles
Legally Rambling (July 18, 2010) Every once in a while, I have this dream, I am standing in front of the big board at the airport. I pick my destination and just go. The funny thing is I have never thought about how to get back. The excitement is in the journey - outbound. The unknown. The open space. The possibility. The tension. But, it's just escape, pure and simple! Kinda like lawyers wanting to learn to play guitar, or own a bar or something like that.
Ok, so the other night I arguably did something wrong, something I have never done in 42 years. Something I regret. Yes, one of those cartoon moments when your inner voice screams "DONT DO IT YOU $%#@!" - and you do it anyway! And, don't even try to get me to admit what I did. The good news is that I am self-correcting and realized it. What an idiot! Or, I could just blame it on the alcohol.
Ok, I said it - so I can move on! But then my second dream kicked in. How many miles can I get out of this tank of gas. Since I have an LR3, I figured about 250. I know a Toyota will take me almost twice that far. But, I just wanted to escape from what I had done and I thought a long drive would do it. I thought it might change something. Might make me feel better. But, then as I gunned it down the freeway and as I approached my exit, I took the exit and pointed my car home. It's one of the interesting things about life, the facts in the past are past. Just part of the background music. Yes, I know, there was nothing I could do at that point except burn a tank of gas and 250 miles later the facts would still be the same. Truth!
I was told as a young lawyer, we don't create the facts we just deal with them. A little different being on the other side of that equation.
Ok, so the other night I arguably did something wrong, something I have never done in 42 years. Something I regret. Yes, one of those cartoon moments when your inner voice screams "DONT DO IT YOU $%#@!" - and you do it anyway! And, don't even try to get me to admit what I did. The good news is that I am self-correcting and realized it. What an idiot! Or, I could just blame it on the alcohol.
Ok, I said it - so I can move on! But then my second dream kicked in. How many miles can I get out of this tank of gas. Since I have an LR3, I figured about 250. I know a Toyota will take me almost twice that far. But, I just wanted to escape from what I had done and I thought a long drive would do it. I thought it might change something. Might make me feel better. But, then as I gunned it down the freeway and as I approached my exit, I took the exit and pointed my car home. It's one of the interesting things about life, the facts in the past are past. Just part of the background music. Yes, I know, there was nothing I could do at that point except burn a tank of gas and 250 miles later the facts would still be the same. Truth!
I was told as a young lawyer, we don't create the facts we just deal with them. A little different being on the other side of that equation.
Ramble On!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Music or Silence
Legally Rambling (July 16, 2010). The music in daily life is interesting. If you listen carefully, you can hear words that often make or break a day. I was reminded recently about the power of words by a homily on James Chapter 3 at Church of the Incarnation in Dallas, Texas. During the homily, I was thinking how true, think of the power of words – “I love you,” “I hate you” I don’t like that ….”, “you are beautiful …” How many times in the day do I hear the statement, he said this, or she said that, or what do you think he meant by that? But hey, you are communicating, and words really do represent the music of daily life. For me each word is like a magic note. The words and the way we use them impart an amazing amount of information. Yes, you are communicating!
I know that I have written about this before, but I love the idea that in comics the real art is not what is in the frames, but what happens in between the frames, the good and bad. Often, just the silence. However, it really seems that the failure to use words causes more trouble than the actual use of words. So does silence create the dramatic tension of daily life?
Now I am not a very silent guy … I communicate twenty-four seven. I love people, love communicating, hate sleep and silence is just plain awful. Nails on the chalkboard of life for me! But silence is extremely powerful. Silence between people can often cause huge problems. I mean think about it, silence is bad in radio, excessive silence in infancy is linked to personality disorders and it is often used as a form of punishment for adults. How many times do we hear about a couple’s failure to communicate leading to marital or relationship problems? Just walk into court and try to give a judge the silent treatment!
For me … bring on the music!
Ramble on!
I know that I have written about this before, but I love the idea that in comics the real art is not what is in the frames, but what happens in between the frames, the good and bad. Often, just the silence. However, it really seems that the failure to use words causes more trouble than the actual use of words. So does silence create the dramatic tension of daily life?
Now I am not a very silent guy … I communicate twenty-four seven. I love people, love communicating, hate sleep and silence is just plain awful. Nails on the chalkboard of life for me! But silence is extremely powerful. Silence between people can often cause huge problems. I mean think about it, silence is bad in radio, excessive silence in infancy is linked to personality disorders and it is often used as a form of punishment for adults. How many times do we hear about a couple’s failure to communicate leading to marital or relationship problems? Just walk into court and try to give a judge the silent treatment!
For me … bring on the music!
Ramble on!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Routine Panic
Legally Rambling (July 15, 2010). Ok, so I am probably going to draw some ire for writing this, but here goes. Do we need a collective scale-back from the life style of "routine panic." A term I borrowed from Dr. James Dobson's book - Bringing up Boys.
Having been through my own divorce and witnessing it first hand on a daily basis, it just seems that something is not working anymore. I mean the two income family holds lots of promise. Lots of hope. But what does it deliver for our children? Is your life better? Is the relationship with your spouse better? Do you have time for faith and community? Do you have any time? Is there a margin in your day? It just seems that the financial pressures, wordly demands and expectations of others (including an endless barage of advertisements on a daily basis) are literally trapping many of us into an overtly stressful life. A stress that ruins relationships, harms children and traps us into less than fulfilling lives. I mean do you really need more responsibility, more work, more stuff, more titles, a better resume, more stress? It's a false promise. And, it's a choice we all make!
Thinking about it, I am just as guilty as the next guy. Like most professionals, my schedule at times is not my own. Yes, it results in routine panic - with professional control. I just feel - there has to be a better way.
Thinking back on my own childhood, what my parents gave was time and lots of it. It has really become the most priceless gift. We really need to make a margin in our day. A time for others or for us to recharge and reflect on the day.
Or, in the alternative is "routine panic" just the new normal for us all.
Ramble on!
Having been through my own divorce and witnessing it first hand on a daily basis, it just seems that something is not working anymore. I mean the two income family holds lots of promise. Lots of hope. But what does it deliver for our children? Is your life better? Is the relationship with your spouse better? Do you have time for faith and community? Do you have any time? Is there a margin in your day? It just seems that the financial pressures, wordly demands and expectations of others (including an endless barage of advertisements on a daily basis) are literally trapping many of us into an overtly stressful life. A stress that ruins relationships, harms children and traps us into less than fulfilling lives. I mean do you really need more responsibility, more work, more stuff, more titles, a better resume, more stress? It's a false promise. And, it's a choice we all make!
Thinking about it, I am just as guilty as the next guy. Like most professionals, my schedule at times is not my own. Yes, it results in routine panic - with professional control. I just feel - there has to be a better way.
Thinking back on my own childhood, what my parents gave was time and lots of it. It has really become the most priceless gift. We really need to make a margin in our day. A time for others or for us to recharge and reflect on the day.
Or, in the alternative is "routine panic" just the new normal for us all.
Ramble on!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The Courthouse Bench
Legally Rambling (July 14, 2010). I was recently sitting by a pool in San Antonio Texas minding my own business and reading Donald Miller’s - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life. A must read. And, in the book, Miller has this great idea of heaven having a big tree with two wooden chairs underneath it and that when you die you get to talk to God and he explains it all. The idea has haunted me since I read it.
I was thinking about it again yesterday when I visited a small courthouse somewhere in Texas. As I walked the old, narrow, packed halls all eyes were on me as I carried my thin single file into the Judges office. The disappointment, the concern, the worry in wrinkled faces conveyed in a glance – is this the guy who is going to get me or us out of this mess. Is he my lawyer? I truly felt the emotion and the connection to each of these people. And, sadly for all but one, the answer was no – I am not here to help you. The realization hit me and it hurt. Honestly, for most I am assuming that it was God time for them.
The courthouse bench is the hardest bench. Just think of what it takes to get there. Most individuals are in the fight of their life, dealing with unbelievable stress and the disappointment that life sometimes offers. Now when you die is God truly going to explain why you ended up on the courthouse bench. I honestly think so.
The realization is hard when it hits and recently for me it has hit often – we are not in control. What gets me is the truly good people who end up on the courthouse bench and the effect it has on them for the rest of their lives. And, it also seems that those people who believe they are in total control, who live life by their own hand and rule and who never let God or community in, are in the end the most disappointed.
Having sat on the courthouse bench as a client last year in a divorce action, surrounded by love, and Christian community, I realize now that it was my wooden chair moment, a time to talk to God. And, what I learned in humble terms was that once again, I was right where God wanted me to be …
Ramble on!
I was thinking about it again yesterday when I visited a small courthouse somewhere in Texas. As I walked the old, narrow, packed halls all eyes were on me as I carried my thin single file into the Judges office. The disappointment, the concern, the worry in wrinkled faces conveyed in a glance – is this the guy who is going to get me or us out of this mess. Is he my lawyer? I truly felt the emotion and the connection to each of these people. And, sadly for all but one, the answer was no – I am not here to help you. The realization hit me and it hurt. Honestly, for most I am assuming that it was God time for them.
The courthouse bench is the hardest bench. Just think of what it takes to get there. Most individuals are in the fight of their life, dealing with unbelievable stress and the disappointment that life sometimes offers. Now when you die is God truly going to explain why you ended up on the courthouse bench. I honestly think so.
The realization is hard when it hits and recently for me it has hit often – we are not in control. What gets me is the truly good people who end up on the courthouse bench and the effect it has on them for the rest of their lives. And, it also seems that those people who believe they are in total control, who live life by their own hand and rule and who never let God or community in, are in the end the most disappointed.
Having sat on the courthouse bench as a client last year in a divorce action, surrounded by love, and Christian community, I realize now that it was my wooden chair moment, a time to talk to God. And, what I learned in humble terms was that once again, I was right where God wanted me to be …
Ramble on!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Playing for the Man Upstairs!
Legally Rambling (January 10, 2010). Ok, so it's Sunday and I'm going to do what I really like to do - discuss the Gospel. Yes, I know if I wasn't a lawyer ... the thought of seminary had crossed my mind on more than one occassion. I feel that God is so active in my life that he's with me at all times and it's a good thing! I am very blessed!
A few weeks ago I was out with my father-in-law and brothers-in-law (well ex)[but it doesnt feel right to say ex and never will to me], at WinStar Casino. The guys were playing black jack and I was watching. Honestly, I had just taken a few hundred dollars out of a slot machine and I was not going to give it back!
Now at times God speaks to me with such clarity and in so many simple worlds that they appear to hang in air with a yellow highlight around them. It's kinda cool. Really.
As the guys were playing black jack, the dealer made a comment - "we are all really playing for the man upstairs." Sure I know what she was talking about - eyes in the sky and all, but the meaning was much greater to me. At that brief moment in time, the words just hung in the air suspended by the Holy Spirit for me. Was I really playing for the man upstairs? Wow!
My honest answer was at that moment - no! I was slacking! My scripture reading was down, witnessing was down, ... heck I was taking a holiday! Like the spike in the tree, I was being reminded of the words of Matthew 28:19: "therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Do the Lords work ... play for the man upstairs! I have alot of work to do.
If you read this ... at this moment in your life ... are you playing for the man upstairs? Ramble On!
A few weeks ago I was out with my father-in-law and brothers-in-law (well ex)[but it doesnt feel right to say ex and never will to me], at WinStar Casino. The guys were playing black jack and I was watching. Honestly, I had just taken a few hundred dollars out of a slot machine and I was not going to give it back!
Now at times God speaks to me with such clarity and in so many simple worlds that they appear to hang in air with a yellow highlight around them. It's kinda cool. Really.
As the guys were playing black jack, the dealer made a comment - "we are all really playing for the man upstairs." Sure I know what she was talking about - eyes in the sky and all, but the meaning was much greater to me. At that brief moment in time, the words just hung in the air suspended by the Holy Spirit for me. Was I really playing for the man upstairs? Wow!
My honest answer was at that moment - no! I was slacking! My scripture reading was down, witnessing was down, ... heck I was taking a holiday! Like the spike in the tree, I was being reminded of the words of Matthew 28:19: "therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Do the Lords work ... play for the man upstairs! I have alot of work to do.
If you read this ... at this moment in your life ... are you playing for the man upstairs? Ramble On!
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