250 Miles

Legally Rambling (July 18, 2010) Every once in a while, I have this dream, I am standing in front of the big board at the airport. I pick my destination and just go. The funny thing is I have never thought about how to get back. The excitement is in the journey - outbound. The unknown. The open space. The possibility. The tension. But, it's just escape, pure and simple! Kinda like lawyers wanting to learn to play guitar, or own a bar or something like that.

Ok, so the other night I arguably did something wrong, something I have never done in 42 years. Something I regret. Yes, one of those cartoon moments when your inner voice screams "DONT DO IT YOU $%#@!" - and you do it anyway! And, don't even try to get me to admit what I did. The good news is that I am self-correcting and realized it. What an idiot! Or, I could just blame it on the alcohol.

Ok, I said it - so I can move on! But then my second dream kicked in. How many miles can I get out of this tank of gas. Since I have an LR3, I figured about 250. I know a Toyota will take me almost twice that far. But, I just wanted to escape from what I had done and I thought a long drive would do it. I thought it might change something. Might make me feel better. But, then as I gunned it down the freeway and as I approached my exit, I took the exit and pointed my car home. It's one of the interesting things about life, the facts in the past are past. Just part of the background music. Yes, I know, there was nothing I could do at that point except burn a tank of gas and 250 miles later the facts would still be the same. Truth!

I was told as a young lawyer, we don't create the facts we just deal with them. A little different being on the other side of that equation.

Ramble On!

Music or Silence

Legally Rambling (July 16, 2010). The music in daily life is interesting. If you listen carefully, you can hear words that often make or break a day. I was reminded recently about the power of words by a homily on James Chapter 3 at Church of the Incarnation in Dallas, Texas. During the homily, I was thinking how true, think of the power of words – “I love you,” “I hate you” I don’t like that ….”, “you are beautiful …” How many times in the day do I hear the statement, he said this, or she said that, or what do you think he meant by that? But hey, you are communicating, and words really do represent the music of daily life. For me each word is like a magic note. The words and the way we use them impart an amazing amount of information. Yes, you are communicating!

I know that I have written about this before, but I love the idea that in comics the real art is not what is in the frames, but what happens in between the frames, the good and bad. Often, just the silence. However, it really seems that the failure to use words causes more trouble than the actual use of words. So does silence create the dramatic tension of daily life?

Now I am not a very silent guy … I communicate twenty-four seven. I love people, love communicating, hate sleep and silence is just plain awful. Nails on the chalkboard of life for me! But silence is extremely powerful. Silence between people can often cause huge problems. I mean think about it, silence is bad in radio, excessive silence in infancy is linked to personality disorders and it is often used as a form of punishment for adults. How many times do we hear about a couple’s failure to communicate leading to marital or relationship problems? Just walk into court and try to give a judge the silent treatment!

For me … bring on the music!

Ramble on!

Routine Panic

Legally Rambling (July 15, 2010). Ok, so I am probably going to draw some ire for writing this, but here goes. Do we need a collective scale-back from the life style of "routine panic." A term I borrowed from Dr. James Dobson's book - Bringing up Boys.

Having been through my own divorce and witnessing it first hand on a daily basis, it just seems that something is not working anymore. I mean the two income family holds lots of promise. Lots of hope. But what does it deliver for our children? Is your life better? Is the relationship with your spouse better? Do you have time for faith and community? Do you have any time? Is there a margin in your day? It just seems that the financial pressures, wordly demands and expectations of others (including an endless barage of advertisements on a daily basis) are literally trapping many of us into an overtly stressful life. A stress that ruins relationships, harms children and traps us into less than fulfilling lives. I mean do you really need more responsibility, more work, more stuff, more titles, a better resume, more stress? It's a false promise. And, it's a choice we all make!

Thinking about it, I am just as guilty as the next guy. Like most professionals, my schedule at times is not my own. Yes, it results in routine panic - with professional control. I just feel - there has to be a better way.

Thinking back on my own childhood, what my parents gave was time and lots of it. It has really become the most priceless gift. We really need to make a margin in our day. A time for others or for us to recharge and reflect on the day.

Or, in the alternative is "routine panic" just the new normal for us all.

Ramble on!

The Courthouse Bench

Legally Rambling (July 14, 2010). I was recently sitting by a pool in San Antonio Texas minding my own business and reading Donald Miller’s - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life. A must read. And, in the book, Miller has this great idea of heaven having a big tree with two wooden chairs underneath it and that when you die you get to talk to God and he explains it all. The idea has haunted me since I read it.

I was thinking about it again yesterday when I visited a small courthouse somewhere in Texas. As I walked the old, narrow, packed halls all eyes were on me as I carried my thin single file into the Judges office. The disappointment, the concern, the worry in wrinkled faces conveyed in a glance – is this the guy who is going to get me or us out of this mess. Is he my lawyer? I truly felt the emotion and the connection to each of these people. And, sadly for all but one, the answer was no – I am not here to help you. The realization hit me and it hurt. Honestly, for most I am assuming that it was God time for them.

The courthouse bench is the hardest bench. Just think of what it takes to get there. Most individuals are in the fight of their life, dealing with unbelievable stress and the disappointment that life sometimes offers. Now when you die is God truly going to explain why you ended up on the courthouse bench. I honestly think so.

The realization is hard when it hits and recently for me it has hit often – we are not in control. What gets me is the truly good people who end up on the courthouse bench and the effect it has on them for the rest of their lives. And, it also seems that those people who believe they are in total control, who live life by their own hand and rule and who never let God or community in, are in the end the most disappointed.

Having sat on the courthouse bench as a client last year in a divorce action, surrounded by love, and Christian community, I realize now that it was my wooden chair moment, a time to talk to God. And, what I learned in humble terms was that once again, I was right where God wanted me to be …

Ramble on!

Playing for the Man Upstairs!

Legally Rambling (January 10, 2010). Ok, so it's Sunday and I'm going to do what I really like to do - discuss the Gospel. Yes, I know if I wasn't a lawyer ... the thought of seminary had crossed my mind on more than one occassion. I feel that God is so active in my life that he's with me at all times and it's a good thing! I am very blessed!

A few weeks ago I was out with my father-in-law and brothers-in-law (well ex)[but it doesnt feel right to say ex and never will to me], at WinStar Casino. The guys were playing black jack and I was watching. Honestly, I had just taken a few hundred dollars out of a slot machine and I was not going to give it back!

Now at times God speaks to me with such clarity and in so many simple worlds that they appear to hang in air with a yellow highlight around them. It's kinda cool. Really.

As the guys were playing black jack, the dealer made a comment - "we are all really playing for the man upstairs." Sure I know what she was talking about - eyes in the sky and all, but the meaning was much greater to me. At that brief moment in time, the words just hung in the air suspended by the Holy Spirit for me. Was I really playing for the man upstairs? Wow!

My honest answer was at that moment - no! I was slacking! My scripture reading was down, witnessing was down, ... heck I was taking a holiday! Like the spike in the tree, I was being reminded of the words of Matthew 28:19: "therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Do the Lords work ... play for the man upstairs! I have alot of work to do.

If you read this ... at this moment in your life ... are you playing for the man upstairs? Ramble On!

Quiet Wonder

Legally Rambling (January 9, 2010). I sit in the Wright Library another night. Cold. Quiet. Still. At 42, I am full of wonder, but tired after a five hour partner meeting. Looking forward to the blank screen. Kinda like the blank page - full of possibility!

I am at my heart a natural Jeffersonian. I always have been since my youth. Captivated by books, art, cooking, conversation, the stars, animals, gardening ... the greater world around us. I remain amazed by God's creation. Even with evil in the garden, you have to admit that it is still truly wonderful. An amazing and beautiful place. I still believe its a world filled with angels and miracles. I have witnessed a great many.

I have been collecting books since I was a little kid. And, one of the benefits of my recent divorce is that I now have my book life back. Time for reading and quiet reflection. And recently, I have been doing a lot of thinking about miracles and the gift of prophecy. Perhaps it's my Italian roots calling to me or an echo of a gift my mother possessed. But, on some level it reminds me that God is here active in this world. Still moving through the garden. Whispering to those who are willing or called to listen.

I have been a student of Jefferson since a little kid. However, one of the things that always disturbed me about Jefferson was the Jefferson Bible. My grandmother and I would often debate this book. If you are not aware of the Jefferson Bible, it begins with an account of Jesus’s birth without references to angels, genealogy, or prophecy. Miracles, references to the Trinity and the divinity of Jesus, and Jesus' resurrection are also absent from the Jefferson Bible. I know why he made the edits and I know it was never formally published during his life, but it also makes me sad even if it's a pure moral code.

Why does it make me sad? Because Jefferson took out all the wonder and for me the hope. Case in point, the Jefferson Bible ends with the words: “Now, in the place where he was crucified, there was a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre, wherein was never man yet laid. There laid they Jesus. And rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed.” Think about it - it ends there! No miracle, no resurrection, no hope for the future. He missed it - the main point, he missed why Christ was sent and what it was all about! The true miracle!

The book never sat well with me, because even as a young man I have been witness to extraordinary things. I always wondered was Jefferson not blessed with these experiences or did he intellectually try to explain them away. For the great gardener was God active in his world or not? And, for all of his immense gifts was he missing the most important one of all!

In this life and in all things ... Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam and Ramble On!

Ramble On!

Moving Day

Legally Rambling (January 3, 2010). I sit in the Wright Library tonight using a desk that has to be over one hundred years old, a gift from the greats (grandfather, aunt and uncle). Ultimately delivered to me by my father – another great! My old desk another victim of the legal process called divorce. Listening to Switchfoot!

Now despite having gone through the legal process, I still don’t believe in divorce. While I realize from a legal and scriptural standpoint I have every right to a divorce in my case, I must state to my children if you read this in the future, I did everything to avoid it. I quite strongly am a peaceful follower of Christ, believe in marriage, and, if that makes me an extremist under the eyes of the system. Well, then I strongly state that - I am!

So now you know where Legally Rambling has been – involved in a high conflict (not on my part) divorce for the past several months that at this point is over. In fact, without going into the facts of the case, I believe my fellow Divorce Care (offered through Watermark Community Church) participants enjoyed my presence each of the thirteen weeks (when I could attend) of the class because my stories made them feel better about their divorces. They certainly supported me during mine – still praying for y’all! Mine was that bad!

I have to state a big Thank You! to the Christian Community of Watermark Community Church for your prayers and for supporting a Catholic guy through one of lifes worst experiences. They prayed for me, with me, offered to clean my house, watch my children, provide security for me … and on … and on … and on! As a follower of Christ they literally had my back! More churches could follow your example of Christian Community! Also to the Wimberley Bible Study Group - they did all of the above and more – A lifetime of Thanks!

So yesterday was moving day - the day where the major property was exchanged. It was quite a day from an emotional standpoint. I feel like a guy standing in the middle of Dresden after its bombing during World War II by the British Royal Air Force and United States Army Air Force. A historical note, the resulting firestorm destroyed 39 square kilometres (15 sq mi) of the city centre. What an experience!

You know, property may have been moved around yesterday, but my faith remains strong and unmoved and I am amazed by my family. The strength my father exhibited even after losing my mom at the start of all this was awe inspiring. He is still my hero! The advice provided by my brother Patrick is a true testament as to why he is a gifted family lawyer and my sister-in-law Sheri provided so much help I can’t list it all! And, the Wimberley family standing for what is right - a true Christian example!

The only real thing of importance that was moved yesterday was my heart. I am humbled by everything my family has done for me over the last several months. You all have my love and a lifetime of my thanks! I am proud to call you all family and Praise God for you in my life!

Ramble On!